Open For The Joy Of It

So I have spent the past 3.5 months doing nothing but crocheting.  Cocoon Cardigans, beanies, slouch hats, messy bun beanies, Christmas ornaments, and a few other things.

My favorite project so far has been an infinity scarf for a little 3-year-old girl.  Her mother and I had talked about what she might want, and we agreed that the little girl should pick out her yarn.  On the Sunday when we did the yarn exchange, I measured her for the scarf and watched as she kept touch the yarn.  She was so excited, but in some ways she had no idea what was coming.  She only had a picture of what the yarn would look like when knit/crocheted.  She didn't know what her scarf would look like, feel like, or how it would fit around her neck.  She only knew she had to wait to get her scarf.

Less than a week later, it was Christmas Eve, the scarf was ready (with an extra surprise of a matching ear-warmer headband), and I had it in my lap as Mike & I waited to see the family of the little girl.  When they came up, the little girl just stared at her scarf.  She knew what it was, she had been dreaming about it probably the whole week with the way she looked at it.  She was so excited that in the warm building she rushed to put on the scarf, and when people greeted her, she showed it off.  She was so happy, so proud, so joyful at finally having her scarf.

Looking back, I see a lot of similarities between that little girl and I.  We both had something that we had an idea about what it will be and we had a wait time.  While the little girls was only a week (though for her it might have felt like millions of weeks), Mike & I are still waiting for our joyful moment just to start the adoption.  And it will happen.  We are just having to wait. And I know that when that moment comes, I will be just like that little girl.  Excited, joyful, sharing with everyone who comes near me the joy that I am feeling that we finally can start the official paperwork and process.

So just remember in the waiting it might be hard, but there is joy ahead.

Cana
#FindingOurCrayons

Power of the Potluck

Mike & I joined a church in December.  And after Mike's baptism and us both joining the church, our pastor announced to the church that we are in the process of trying to adopt.

It was amazing the people who came to talk to us.  Some had never even considered adoption, but wanted to support us.  Someone came up to us and told us how she was adopted, and she loved hearing about others doing the same thing.  And then there was the couple who came up and said that they too had adopted many years ago and that they understood what we are going through.

It is amazing the people that we meet that are interested in adoption, have been adopted, or have adopted a child.  It helps to remind us that we are not the first ones to go down this path, and that we have an amazing support group.

So, why did I choose this verse for this post?  Well, first off, the majority of the women I spend time with at church all love food and fellowship (yes, my circle group believes in the Power of the Potluck).  But, for me, this also shows how a family trying to adopt should be received.

This particular verse is talking about the early Church, meeting in homes and having meals together.  Sharing in a type of fellowship that sometimes seems to be far away in today's world of technology & altogether business.  But for me, this shows me that sharing in a meal, sharing in a time together, sharing in an experience, all helps to build us up for the journey ahead.  For us, this means the adoption we haven't even started yet.  For others, this might be a child going away for college, the loss of a parent, difficulties at work.  When we come together and share with each other our joys and our struggles, we are experiencing a type of fellowship we were called to.

So, as you go about your day, know that if you want to celebrate the Power of the Potluck, or just need someone to talk to, we are here for you.

Cana
#FindingOurCrayons

It Comes With The Morning Light

Last month was a hard month.  Between seeing everyone excited to celebrate Christmas with their children, still being stuck at 1/4 mark of our adoption funds goal, me crocheting mindlessly to raise money for the adoption, and both of us going through our personal possessions to sell, it was just a hard month.

Oh, and to top the month off, for about a week, we thought I might have been pregnant.

Yeah... 

But a negative pregnancy test and a week-late period later, we knew we weren't.  And it hurt (and that is probably a HUGE understatement).

Now, don't misunderstand what was said... Even if we got pregnant, we are still going to adopt.  We know we are called to adopt, and as soon as we get the funds, we will be starting the paperwork and hopefully be adopting our child/children.  But when you are constantly praying for a miracle (whether biological or adopted), it is hard not to get excited when something makes you think that maybe God has finally answered your prayer.

And to be honest, I was so angry.  I cried out to God asking what is so wrong with me that He is making us wait so long to grow our family?  What have I done that my prayers go unanswered?  It's not like I'm asking for Him to kill someone, or for the winning lottery ticket without playing the lottery.

I didn't get an answer.  No giant sign fell from the sky, no Heavenly Host showed up to give me a gloriously light & sung message from God.

What I did find is that I love my husband beyond words.  He rubbed and scratched my back, he bought me the cheap Walmart earrings I wanted, and reminded me that there is a plan for us (we just don't know all the plot points that will get us where we need to be yet).

And it was as I was writing this post that I remembered this verse (see photo at top of post).  Granted, when Paul was writing this to the Romans, he was talking about persecution of Christians and the hope of Heaven.  But I think this verse applies to every waiting family that is struggling with infertility and/or adoption.   Because the struggle is real (cliche, I know); and the pain, heartache, and knowledge that we can't do this any faster doesn't help.  BUT there is hope, there is joy, and there the faith to know that something that is an AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE is going to be ours. One day.

So in your struggles today, know that you aren't alone.  I'm cheering you on with whatever you are struggling with.  Know that there is hope and that there is joy waiting for you on the other side of your struggles.

Cana
#FindingOurCrayons

Carpe Diem

So the picture above isn't exactly true in what I want to talk about today, but it definitely is the closest thing to describe it.  

It's the New Year.  2017.  So much potential in the year.  And I realized that for the past 6 months I have done nothing but focus on what I couldn't do because it would somehow effect the adoption.  No vacations.  No new clothes when I actually do need to replace several pairs of jeans due to worn-in holes.  No going out on adventures.  Mike and I have stayed home and done very little, spent very little over the past 6 months.  And we still aren't at our goal.  

Now a few things have changed in our lives.  We took in a friend that had no where to go, and he will be staying with us for the next few months.  And we might get close to 50% of our goal in the next few months (fingers crossed and praying it is so), but I realized that we can't stop living our life just because we are trying to grow a family.  We still have the chance to do things, experience things, have just as much fun without children as we can have with children, RIGHT NOW. 

So instead of doing a resolution, I am doing a bucket list of sorts (Thanks to my friend J.G. for inspiring this idea).  I'm still working on it.  I'm still trying to figure out what I'll do each month.  But I'll do something.  And Mike might join me on some of it.  The goal is to keep living, loving, and enjoying life as much as I can while I'm in the waiting.

So may your New Year be happy, bright, and help you grow.  And if you want to join me on one of my bucket list things, let me know.  I might need a partner in crime ;-)

Cana
#FindingOurCrayons

Let the Fireworks Fly!

From Our Family to Yours,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

May your new year be filled with love, blessings and joy!

Mike & Cana

#FindingOurCrayons