Welcome to the Marathon

Time to be honest.  I have become discouraged the past couple of months.  And it is so early in the pre-game, that it might not make sense.  

I currently following the consultants that we plan to use once we raise the money we need to start the adoption.  And every few days (sometimes twice in one day), I'll see them posting how current clients were matched with a bio mom, or got their baby today.  Every time I see this, I break inside a little.  I mean, it does give me hope, but it feels like it is one less chance that we will have to adopt a child (And yes, I know how ridiculous that sounds...But sometimes the brain doesn't think right).  

Every time I see the post, I do tell Mike.  In some ways, I hope he will feel like I do, as it reminds me that I am not alone.  Yet, my Positive Patty of a husband just says that it is just more affirmation that they will be the help that we need to grow our family.  

And really, I do realize that I have had not enough time to truly complain.  I have friends that have been in this process for YEARS (I'm look at you E family), waiting for the moment that they would get their little boy or girl.  And yet, I feel so discouraged with what I have experienced already within this journey, and we aren't even to the actual process of the adoption (i.e. paperwork filled out, money all together, home study, lawyer, birth mother interviews, etc.).

I mean, we've had several failed fundraisers, while still working on others that we hope won't fail.  Trying to remember that no family is immediate, it still is a struggle to find the hope we need to continue.  

So I have been praying.  Not for patience, and not specifically about our adoption (though I do pray about it), but instead I have been praying for every family I see on the consultants website.  I'm praying because I hope one day, my family will be one of those posts.  I'm praying because each of those families has been where we are now (wondering how we will get the funds together), and, some how, made it to the goal.  And I'm praying that their journey has been worth it, and that they feel the love, encouragement and hope to keep them on their path. And I pray for hope.  

Because there is hope.  There is a chance to grow. And whatever lesson is to be learned through this, I hope I learn it well.  Because through it I hope to give hope, encouragement, and love because of it.

So today, may you feel hope in your life with whatever you are struggling with.  And if you don't have any struggles right now, may you feel the hope of the future.

Cana
#FindingOurCrayons