|Yes, that is my long-haired fur baby, Sweetpea, in the corner.|
A lot is going on in our life right now. My job changes, fridge is acting up, struggling to find balance in our life as a married couple. And if that wasn't enough, we discovered that the job I'm going to be starting in less than a week and a half, doesn't give maternity leave for those adopting. Period.
I would have to take MFLA, which means a minimum of 6 weeks of no pay. That's a lot to take in. Not only do we now need to save for the adoption itself, which could be anywhere from between $9,000 to $35,000, we also need to figure out how to save up a minimum of 3 paychecks (thinking of a biweekly pay schedule). When you think of that, that's a LOT of money. That is almost 2 paychecks worth of money.
And honestly, I broke down. Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't we just be able to get pregnant? Teenagers, drug addicts, and people who don't want children seem to get pregnant so easily, why can't we?
My mood didn't help my husband. We are both struggling with the idea of my pay changes, change of schedule, and now the news about what extra money we will have to save. Knowing all of this, knowing that it might take a whole lot longer than we expected to be able to become parents hurts honestly. And it is hard to keep that hope that we will one day have children alive.
On Monday (which is when HR told us that lovely news), my friend KL had sent Mike & I a gift. We had opened the package, saw it's lovely contents, but didn't go further with it. Until this morning.
We have had a hard two days. And looking at the Adoption Encouragement Jar (I'll post an entry later next week about our lovely jar), I felt the need to open it. I need encouragement today. Mike needed encouragement today. I didn't know if what I would pick out of the jar would help, but it couldn't hurt. And this is what it said (for those who can't read the words in the picture):
"Adoption is hard.
Don't be afraid of something because it looks impossible.
That is how God most easily shows His might;
by presenting you an opportunity to glorify Him,
then carrying you through it, and by leaving your testimony for the benefit of all."
Wow. It hit the spot. Adoption is hard. A lot harder than I ever thought it would be. And in some ways, I feel it shouldn't be hard (This is where Mike and I differ. He feels that if it is worth doing, it should be hard. I think we will continue to agree to disagree on that matter). But that little scrap of paper is right. By it being hard, by our struggles, others will know that they can get through the rocks, the hard places, the frying pans, and the fires.
To make things better, another friend, BE who is at the middle of their family's adoption process (They have the child, just waiting on TPR), called to tell me of the lawyer she had found. The price of the lawyer and home study was the lowest cost I had heard of yet.
And it gives me hope. Maybe we can do this. Maybe it won't be so hard as it feels right now. Maybe, just maybe, it will all be alright. (Hey, I'm not an optimist! That is as good as you are going to get :0P).
So I want to encourage you today, just as I have been encouraged. Take whatever struggle you have today, and make it an opportunity. I can't promise it will be easy. I know it isn't. But when we look back on these moments, how can we not be surprised and delighted that we survived with stories to tell and help others survive.