Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Reaching Out Through The Struggle

So this past Sunday, we have visited the same church now for 4 weeks.  The other 3 weeks, service was ended with communion.  This Sunday was different.  There was a baptism.  

He was such a cute little boy, and the sacrament of baptism is always special.  

And I was hurting.  

Watching a happy family celebrating such a special moment, hurts sometimes.  But I did make it through the service without crying... I only sniffled a little and had some watery eyes.  

It was what happened afterwards that got to me most though.  

J*, a pastor's wife, had been one of the first people to great us and to try to get to know us in the short time there is at a Sunday morning service.  She looked at me after service, and she told me that she knew how special the baptism was, but she knew that I was hurting through our wait.  That she hasn't gone through what we are experiencing, but she has been there for others who have.  And she hugged me.  

To be honest, I was shocked that someone had taken the time to recognize that it is hard for anyone going through adoption to see a happy family with children.  She didn't belittle me or my feelings, but reached out to remind me that this wait is only temporary.  

So today, on this lovely Wednesday, I want to encourage you to reach out to those you know are hurting.  Show them that they aren't alone.  Remind them that there is someone there, whether it is to listen or just to give a hug.  


* All identities are preserved until I'm given permission to use their names.

Monday, August 29, 2016

Music Monday: Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson w/ GabeReal

So for those who know me, music is a big part of my life.  So as we have started going through the process of adopting, I have actually created a play list for me to listen to when I'm up or down about the whole journey. 
Today is Eye of the Storm by Ryan Stevenson w/ GabeReal

Hope you enjoy!


Monday, August 22, 2016

A Whole Lot of Shaking Going On

So, I'm taking a break this week, because, well, it's my BIRTHDAY WEEK!
Yep, I'm turning a lovely shade of 32 years old, and will be celebrating all week.
But be sure to come back on Monday, with some lovely posts and updates!


Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Fundraisers and My Patience Level (or Lack there of)

If you know anything about me (That is, Cana), then you will know patience is not my virtue.  Just ask Mike, I have no patience.  I don't wait well, I never have.  I do a bit better if I have a timeline, but sometimes it just makes things worse.

But that is the thing about adoptions, there is no time frame on which everything will be completed.  No 9 month time line there. But, I guess after YEARS and YEARS of avoiding asking God to grant me patience, He decided to give me a lesson in it anyways.

So we started working on what fundraisers we are going to do to help me focus on something other than the wait,  and raise money for the adoption.  We already had the page, but we realized that there are some people who won't use that to help.  So, we then looked at other options and started working on the next 2 fundraisers: Yardsale and T-shirt Sale!

For the t-shirts, we are using Bonfire, a site that allows a campaign for up to 21 days...

We picked the primary to be in Tahiti Blue (Because Tahiti is a magical place! *Geeky Smile*), but we also have Espresso Brown, Light Pink, Heavy Metal Gray, and Cardinal Red.  If you are interested in a t-shirt, click here!

Mike also created a CafePress store to sell a t-shirt design he came up with for our adoption.
This one is my favorite style shirt... 
The great thing about CafePress, there is no time limit on how long you can sell something.  But is more than just shirts too... So you probably need to just check it out in all it's glory.  For the CafePress Store, you can Click Here!

But, we also decided we are going to do a yard sale.  Because we live so far out in the middle of no where, we are trying to figure out if the Jockey Lot will be our best option, or if someone will loan us their yard for the yard sale.  Also, anyone who might have items to donate, we would appreciate it as well.  Our goal is to do the yard sale in October.

And these are just the fundraisers that we could think of that we could easily do. We are hoping between now and January, we will come up with the next set of fundraisers for the new year, if we haven't reached our total goal.

So while I am starting to learn what patience really means, I wanted to let all of y'all know how thankful I am for all your help, support, and thoughts/prayers.  And even if you can't help financially or with a donation of items, I know that you are thinking of us, lifting us up in prayer, and giving us support in the ways that you can.


Monday, August 15, 2016

Music Monday: Thrive by Casting Crowns

So for those who know me, music is a big part of my life.  So as we have started going through the process of adopting, I have actually created a play list for me to listen to when I'm up or down about the whole journey. 
Today is Thrive by Casting Crowns

Hope you enjoy!


Wednesday, August 10, 2016

This is My Theme Song

Everyone one should have a theme song.  I mean, we watch wrestlers, politicians, even some churches have a theme song, so why shouldn't we?

And I picked one.  

The lyrics are absolutely beautiful.  Remembering that we aren't alone.  And even when the journey is finished, and we have our child, we still won't be alone.  Our friends and family will be there, helping us out. We aren't alone. We aren't an island... We are a tribe.

So don't feel like you are facing anything alone.


Monday, August 8, 2016

Music Monday: Mended by Matthew West

So for those who know me, music is a big part of my life.  So as we have started going through the process of adopting, I have actually created a play list for me to listen to when I'm up or down about the whole journey. 
Today is Mended by Matthew West

Hope you enjoy!


Sunday, August 7, 2016

Random Thoughts, Thanks Sermon.

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.  By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore. Hebrews 11: 1-3, 8-12
We visited a new church this past Sunday.  We really enjoyed it, and we are planning on returning there for another visit next Sunday.  
The scripture I have posted was part of the sermon.  One of the most well know chapters that talks about faith.  We talk about it a lot as believers.  We walk by faith, not by sight (I'm pretty sure it is lyrics to a number of Christian songs, to remind us of this very fact).  And though it is great to say that, over and over, sometimes it is hard to do that.  
What got me about the sermon though, was when the pastor talked about Sarah & Abraham.  She pointed out that everyone around them was having children, and yet they couldn't.  And even in their old age, they still had that desire to have children.  God had promised them that they would have children.  And they had faith that God would fulfill that promise.  
But when I decided to re-read Sarah's story, I was reminded that her faith wasn't as strong as we always seem to make it out to be.  She actually laughed at God's promise of children because of her age:
Then one of them said, “I will surely return to you about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son.”Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Genesis 18: 10-12
She laughed!  And I mean, can you blame her for laughing?  She was well into her 90's.  No one biologically was having children at that age.  She had come to accept it, and in some ways, I can't help but think that it hurt Sarah when she heard the heavenly visitor say that she would have a child.  She didn't have children, her time had already passed.  She had watched her friends, family, neighbors, and total strangers grow their family, and God just brought up the sorest point in her life and said it would change!  (Honestly, the fact that she laughed showed that she was much better had handling her emotions that I... I might have punched the visitor, or curled into a ball and cried.)
I can relate.  Not that God has promised me children, or that I'm 90 and having children that late in life (God, please don't take this a challenge to show Your glory through... I really don't want to be 90 and pregnant).  But as I have watched, and continue to watch, many people around me grow their families, I keep thinking about all that I have to do before we will have our own children.  
Between figuring out fundraisers, putting out coin jars to collect spare change (which if you are interested in one, please let us know), and saving all the money we can, filling out paperwork, gathering required paperwork, and all the rest of everything that is needed to even start the process, it is hard to remember that by faith we take the steps forward that will hopefully lead us to our children. To have faith that God will fulfill His promises, both the ones we know of and the ones we don't.  
This is what I am working on.  This is the first step.  

Wednesday, August 3, 2016

Let's Play Ball!


Growing up in my youth group, I remember my youth minister using this quote... A LOT! So much so that when I went to college, I laughed at the movie for my college orientation was: a League of Their Own

On a side note: Yep, I laugh every time.  I can't help it.

 So where am I going with this? 



I told you, communication!

So take the quote that I put up (no, not the gif, the quote at the very top). Replace the word "it" with "communication".

"Communication is suppose to be hard.
If communication wasn't hard, everyone would do it.
The hard is what makes communication great."

Makes sense, doesn't it?  We talk all the time, we send messages, tweets, statuses, and post pictures.  But communicating is so hard. 

And as we walk this journey of adoption, we are having to learn a whole lot about communicating.  Communicating with each other about our feelings through this journey. Communicating with our friends, family and coworkers about our needs in this journey.  And this is just the beginnings of the process.  In the near future, we are going to be communicating with lawyers, birth mothers (or even birth families), our adoption consultants, social workers, and so many others.  And that thought is so daunting. 

As the social butterfly, the idea of communicating with so many people shouldn't be that scary, but it is. It shouldn't be that hard, but it feels like it. 

It is the hard that makes it great

And that is what I keep reminding myself.  I hope that you too remember that it is the hard that makes it great.  So whatever journey you are experiencing, I hope this entry gives you some hope. 


Monday, August 1, 2016

Music Monday: Just Be Held by Casting Crowns

So for those who know me, music is a big part of my life.  So as we have started going through the process of adopting, I have actually created a play list for me to listen to when I'm up or down about the whole journey. 
Today is Just Be Held by Casting Crowns

Hope you enjoy!